Jokes in English

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Svitlana
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З нами з: 08 лютого 2007, 21:29
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Jokes in English

Повідомлення Svitlana »

This is a "true" story from the WordPerfect Helpline.

Needless to say the help desk employee was fired: however, the person is
currently suing the Word Perfect organization for Termination
without cause.
This is from taped conversation leading up to dismissal:
"Word Perfect Technical Desk, may I help you?
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type!"
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
"....... Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming from
the
window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."
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LSquirrel
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З нами з: 02 вересня 2009, 20:18

Re: Jokes in English

Повідомлення LSquirrel »

Один з моїх улюблених приколів щодо англійської мови. Такі собі скоромовки англійською (ще й зі згадуванням Швейцарії :tak2: )...


“Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watches which Swatch watch?”
“Три відьми розглядають троє годинників Swatch. Яка відьма розглядає який годинник Swatch?”

“Three Swedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watch switches. Which Swedish switched witch watches which Swiss Swatch watch switch?”
“Три швідські відьми транссексуалки розглядають три кнопки швейцарських годинників Swatch. Яка швідська відьма транссексуалка розглядає яку кнопку швейцарських годинників Swatch?”

(витріть екран Вашого комп'ютера :teasing: )


In addition:
John, where James had had “had had”, had had “had”. “Had had” had had the approval of the examiners.
“Там, де Джеймс поставив “had had”, Джон поставив “had”. “Had had” було правильною відповіддю на екзамені.”
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